The girl without a bucket list.

I stopped writing bucket lists. I don’t know exactly when it happened. My best bet is that it’s sometime during college, maybe during my very very lost phase of not knowing what course to shift to or what the hell would I do next. Not that I know any better now. But, yea, I stopped.

Come to think of it, I can’t remember when was the last time I sat down and wrote myself a list of things to do for long-term. I guess when I was younger, maybe in high school or earlier, I made resolutions and things-to-do-before-this-age and stuff like that. But not my list-writing is limited to “To Do Today”s and “homeworks” and “Finish by the end of the week”s.

So why did I stop?

I can think of two major reasons. One is because I never really do them. When I was a kid and I made resolutions at the beginning of the year, promising I’ll be this and do that, the very few times I did that, I didn’t stick to it. The summers I swore to make the most out of by doing a specific set of things, I did make the most out of but not by doing them. The two things I planned to do before I’m eighteen (have money in a bank, learn to ride a bike), I never have done and I’m twenty! So no, bucket lists don’t work for me in that way. Sadly.

Second, I like the idea of just jumping into any adventure without plans. When an opportunity comes up, grab it. When a new interest develops, go after it. When you’re curious about something, try it. Well obviously not everything, but you get the drift.

And so far that worked. That worked without me even thinking about it. One day I just realized that for the longest time, I’ve been doing more of things I didn’t plan rather than the things I did. Like how I was never into travelling but then I was doing it all the time and I loved it! Like how I never thought I’d actually get to host an non-formal event because I actually find myself really corny and awkward when trying to be funny but somehow I landed a hosting gig for Y4IT. And many other things.

So no, I don’t think I’ll make a bucket list anytime soon.

Right now my goal is to never let a good opportunity pass. Because it totally sucks when you do!

(Disclaimer: Photo not mine. Original photo location here.)

For example, I had the chance to ride this roller coaster. I didn’t take it because no one would go with me. My mom and sister wouldn’t so if I wanted to, I had to do so alone. I knew that moment that it would be years before the chance came up again, or maybe never! But I still let it pass!

Now it’s not like I cry over it every day or get all emotional or anything. But during those very rare moments when I come across the photo on Tumblr or Facebook or some other site, I have the tiniest bit of regret.

And regrets are never fun.

I don’t know what I’m getting at. I just saw a bucket list, remembered I stopped writing those, then wrote this. I think I’m just finding a way to procrastinate. Or trying to rationalize why I fail so much at achieving goals. Not so sure. Anyway, back to acads. My sem isn’t over, apparently.ย 

Edit: I just remembered something awesome that came from going after what I wanted – UP Rep! I’ve been wanting to apply since my second year but I never did. Always, I felt they were all extroverts and next to them I would be this little awkward, quiet person. Because most of the timeย I’m actually freaking out when in front of people, and I don’t know how it manages to not show. The ‘freaking out’ either disappears after a while or gets worse, depends on who’s watching. Also I thought I was too old, or that it would be weird having young ones as co-apps because I’m ancient. But last sem I finally did, and it’s one of the best decisions I made throughout my college life! One of the very few good ‘big-deal’ decisions I made, actually. Yeay me! ๐Ÿ˜‰

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